I’ve recently started reading The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, and it’s already been a deeply eye-opening experience. The book explores how trauma—especially when experienced in childhood—doesn’t just leave emotional scars, but actually reshapes the brain, body, and behavior in lasting ways. It dives into the different types of trauma we go through, from neglect and emotional abuse to physical and sexual violence, and shows how these experiences are not just “memories” but ongoing patterns embedded in our biology.

I began with Chapter 10, which focuses on the devastating impact of being molested or sexually abused as a child. Reading this chapter, I began to understand in a more visceral way how such trauma can alter the entire structure and functioning of the brain—affecting self-perception, the ability to trust, and how one responds to stress or relationships in adulthood. It’s painful but necessary reading. The book doesn’t just describe what trauma is; it explains how the body remembers, even when the mind tries to forget.

Children who are exposed to chronic emotional overwhelm—such as overarousal and disorganization—without consistent, supportive caregiving often struggle to develop the brain systems necessary for regulating emotions and behavior. Without this foundation, they fail to achieve proper attunement between the brain’s inhibitory (calming) and excitatory (activating) systems. As a result, these children grow up expecting to lose control when faced with stress or emotional upset. This ongoing dysregulation can contribute to a range of mental health challenges, including anxiety, impulsivity, and difficulty managing intense emotions.

The book explains how trauma disrupts key physiological systems, leading to imbalances in hormone regulation, altered brain development, and states of either hyperarousal or emotional numbing. Research has shown that children who experience abuse or neglect often display abnormal brain activation patterns, particularly in regions responsible for self-awareness, emotional control, and trust.

These biological and neurological disruptions can have serious long-term consequences. Individuals affected by early trauma may become aggressive, withdrawn, or chronically anxious, and often develop a poor sense of self-worth. Even in safe environments, they may feel emotionally unsafe and disconnected. Many live with chronic physical tension, emotional numbing, and in some cases, dissociation from their own bodies—underscoring the central message of the book: The body keeps the score.

In 1986 Frank Putman and Penelope Trickett, initiated the first longitudinal study of the impact of sexual abuse on female development. In this study, researchers followed two groups of girls over time: one group had experienced sexual abuse, and the other had not. Each time they were assessed, the girls were asked to talk about the worst thing that had happened to them during the previous year. The researchers observed their emotional and physiological reactions while they told their stories.

The non-abused girls consistently reacted with visible signs of distress when recalling upsetting events, showing that their emotional responses were still active and engaged. In contrast, the abused girls began to shut down emotionally—they became numb. Their observable reactions diminished, showing signs of dissociation or emotional detachment.

Over time, their bodies also reflected this adaptation to trauma. In the first assessment, the abused girls showed an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone. But three years later, even when describing highly stressful experiences, their cortisol levels did not rise in the same way. This blunted response indicates how the body adjusts to chronic trauma—by becoming desensitized, emotionally and physically, as a way to cope with constant stress.

This finding is critical because it shows that the effects of trauma are not just psychological but deeply biological—chronic abuse can rewire how the body and brain respond to stress, leading to emotional numbness and long-term health consequences.

What truly shocked me was learning that girls who have been sexually abused tend to mature sexually a year and a half earlier than girls who have not been abused. The trauma of sexual abuse appears to accelerate their biological clock, triggering an earlier onset of puberty. Even more disturbing, early in puberty, these abused girls had three to five times higher levels of testosterone and androstenedione—hormones that are directly linked to sexual desire—compared to those in the control group. This suggests that trauma doesn’t just affect emotional development; it actually alters the body’s hormonal and physical growth in profound and deeply unsettling ways.